Widening Gyre
by sharl-tn
Summary: COMPLETE Preview: “…I’ve never seen you like this.” Heero whispered, trying to bring the old Duo back with words, as Duo had so many times in the past tried to elicit responses from him. RR Please, I appreciate it!
1. Turning and turning in the widening gyre

AN: Just an intro really, I'm not completely sure if it'll be a complete fic, but it will have a couple chapters to it.  
  
Turning and turning in the widening gyre   
  
The falcon cannot hear the falconer;   
  
Things fall apart; the centre cannot hold;   
  
Mere anarchy is loosed upon the world,   
  
The blood-dimmed tide is loosed, and everywhere   
  
The ceremony of innocence is drowned;   
  
The best lack all convictions, while the worst   
  
Are full of passionate intensity.   
  
-----  
  
Widening Gyre  
  
A Gundam Wing FanFic by shärl-tn  
  
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Part 1  
  
Duo dropped silently from the edge of the darkened windowsill, rearranging the backpack full of stolen items on his back before making a quick dash towards the cover of the trees behind the base, towards his hidden motorcycle, and safety. As he left the wall of the building and raced into the open he was stopped suddenly by a gasp to his right.  
  
"Shit." He swore to himself, hand already reaching for the knife at his belt. He turned to face his enemy.  
  
"Wait! You're…" was all the OZ soldier managed before the knife took him full to the throat. He fell in an ungainly heap.  
  
Duo bit his lower lip, walking forward slowly to retrieve his weapon. For a moment he stood, gazing sadly at his latest victim before removing the knife, and again running for the trees. "Anyone who sees me's got a date with his maker…" he whispered to himself as he jumped on the motorcycle and drove off into the night.  
  
... ... ...  
  
The clock on the wall in the hallway read three-am when Duo walked by, silent feet padding past the door after door of sleeping students before coming to the room he shared with fellow pilot, Heero Yuy. He slid his key in the lock and opened the door quietly, slipped inside and dropped his backpack on the floor as he shut the door behind him. The room was dark and empty, Heero was on a mission of his own and would not return till the following day. Duo sighed, long and drawn in the darkness, leaning to fall back against the door, head raised to the ceiling.   
  
"Shit." He whispered to himself as he let his back slide down the wooden door so he crouched at the bottom, head lowering to his knees. "…You looked at his face, you idiot… you looked at his face…"   
  
TBC 


	2. The falcon cannot hear the falconer

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Widening Gyre  
  
A Gundam Wing FanFic by shärl-tn  
  
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Part 2  
  
The halls were still quiet. It was early yet, the sun just barely up, casting bright white spots across the tiles. Heero knew that within an hour these same silent halls would be a bustle with activity as a hundred students prepared frantically for another day of classes. But for now, it was quiet, as the students slept off their last few hours of night.  
  
Slept? Heero grunted to himself quietly, a slightly annoyed sound. He was certainly looking forward to just that – he'd been on a particularity gruelling mission these past four days and had barely slept the entire time. He, for one, would most definitely not be joining the students in their morning rush, there was no way he was going to school today. This fine morning was going to be slept away.  
  
He almost smiled at the thought of it. Almost. But of course, Heero Yuy rarely smiled.  
  
Mind, rarely doesn't mean never.  
  
Heero's thoughts were cut short at the door to the room he shared with Duo Maxwell. He had slipped the key into the lock, no problem there. He had turned the brass handle, which twisted loosely in his hand, also functioning properly. And yet, the normally easy door had not swung open as it should have, it didn't rotate open on its well-oiled hinges like it typically did. Heero gazed with confusion at those very hinges he had fixed himself, fixed them so they opened without a sound so no one would hear him or Duo returning at odd hours of the night. They looked fine, so he pushed on the door.  
  
The wood panel opened slowly, a few inches, then stopped. Kneeling, Heero reached his hand through the opening and around the door to see what was in the way. Grabbing something he pulled it carefully out of the path of the door. The door opened about a foot more before stopping again. Heero stood, bringing the object, a knapsack up with him, thinking something along the lines of him going to have to have a talk with his roommate about throwing his things all over the floor. He did not want to have to deal with malfunctioning doorways after four days on little sleep, he thought to himself as he slipped in through the opening in the doorway.  
  
He carefully set the knapsack off to the side as he entered and was halfway through the door when he was stopped again, a quick startled breath escaping his lips the only sign that something was amiss. Not moving, he automatically shut the door behind him as he took in the sight of his roommate, unconscious… on the floor.  
  
Heero stared for a moment, and watched as Duo, curled on the floor, twisted tighter at the sound of the door closing. Heero calmed slightly, he wasn't unconscious, just sleeping. But why was he on the floor? And a mess…   
  
Quickly analysing despite his sleep-drained mind, Heero took in the sight, Duo was still wearing his jacket, black baseball cap and shoes. In the edges of his hair Heero could see glimpses of metal, Duo obviously had not yet removed his tools, and by the state of that hair he hadn't yet brushed it. His youthful face looked tired and drained, but that wasn't a big issue, he had just completed a mission as well, and Heero thought he probably didn't look much better right then. But there was something to his face that was distinctly out of place. Running tracks through the combined dirt of days working in stealth, were the marks of what Heero assumed had been tears.  
  
Heero knew better than to wake the sleeping pilot, waking would mean questions, questions would take time, and Heero was much to tired to take that time. Not to mention that Duo probably needed the sleep as badly as he did.   
  
But what should he do then? Dropping his own backpack on his desk, Heero rolled the sheets down on Duo's bed, and then walked back over to his friend. Moving slowly and carefully he untied and loosened Duo's shoes, pulling them off. He carefully pulled off the baseball cap and put it by the door. So far, he'd been lucky. Duo had barely reacted when he had removed the shoes and hat, but Heero wasn't sure he'd be able to get Duo to his bed without waking him.  
  
Shrugging, and inwardly preparing for an angry outburst, Heero knelt, and slid his arms beneath Duo's waist and knees. Instantly Duo's body tensed and Heero froze, ready for Duo to wake and a startled tirade to begin. But after a long moment, Heero realized that his friend, though tensed, was still asleep. Heero nodded to himself, recognizing the response as a trained one, very similar to what he would have done if someone had grabbed him while he slept, and moved to disable his sleeping friend. He whispered quietly, "Duo, it's okay… Go back to sleep," his voice was oddly soft, and Duo reacted nearly instantly to the prompt, his form relaxing into Heero's arms.  
  
Taking it as a sign that Duo would not wake any time soon, Heero lifted his light form and walked slowly towards the bed. Placing Duo softly down, he pulled the covers up to his shoulders and stepped back. His eyes wandered slowly over Duo's sleeping face, and the dirty tracks the tears had left down his cheeks, wondering again what had warranted the breakdown. As he watched, Duo shifted in his sleep, pulling the covers over his head as he curled into a ball under the sheets.  
  
Heero snorted quietly at this undeniably adorable act and turned to take care of himself. He tightly shut the curtains from the morning sun, kicked off his own shoes and pulled the covers back from his own bed. Pulling himself beneath his own sheets he let out a deep breath, exhausted.  
  
He would have to find out what was wrong with Duo later. For now the first priority, for them both, was sleep. Relaxing, Heero closed his eyes and fell asleep to the quiet sounds of Duo's breathing and students waking.  
  
TBC 


	3. Things fall apart

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Widening Gyre  
  
A Gundam Wing FanFic by shärl-tn  
  
-----  
  
Part 3  
  
Brow furrowing in annoyance, Duo awoke to the sound of the bells signalling the end of classes for the day. He curled tighter under his sheets, trying to block out the late-afternoon sun that was snaking its way behind the edges of the curtains to land directly over his eyes. He rolled, putting his back to the sun, sighed and tried to return to sleep but was thwarted every second by the loud sounds of students returning to their dorms, the slamming of doors, the stomping of feet, the chatter of voices, the snoring of roommates…  
  
Pulling the covers down from his eyes, Duo leaned up on an elbow to look across the room at Heero. He shook his head in disbelief as the pilot slept on undaunted, seemingly ignoring the racket that surrounded them. He narrowed his eyes, pouting slightly, "Heero Yuy, some days I hate your perfect soldier guts." Full well realizing that sleep would escape him for the moment, Duo slipped out of bed, grabbed a towel and a change of clothes and headed for the shower, closing the door without a sound.   
  
Dropping his towel and clean clothes on the wooden bench in a heap, Duo lifted his hand to his hair only to groan at the sad state it was in. "Dammit, Maxwell," he muttered to himself, "you know how it gets if you leave it for too long." Pulling the elastic from the end, he carefully raked his fingers through row after row of long braid, removing various devices from its length as he went, until there was a pile of tiny metal pieces on the corner of the bench, and his hair was finally undone.   
  
Stepping into the shower, he let the water spray hot in an attempt to wash away the grime of his last mission. He stretched his sore muscles into the steam, relieving part of the tension that sleep had not removed and slowly brought himself to full wakefulness.  
  
It was somewhere between shampooing the last few feet of his hair and rinsing it off that he realized that he had not waken where he had fallen asleep. His violet eyes betrayed his confusion as his sleep-addled brain tried fitfully to remember exactly where or when he had fallen asleep.   
  
He remembered returning to the school. He remembered leaning against the doorway, and he remembered the tears. "Thank god Yuy wasn't there for that little episode, huh, Duo…" he whispered to himself. And then he remembered waking in his own bed to the sounds of classes ending. But how the hell had he gotten there? He didn't think he was a sleep-walker, and if he had gone to bed himself, he definitely would have taken his jacket off so…  
  
Shutting off the water, he broke off his thoughts with a shrug, returning to more pressing business. He could figure it out after he'd located some food, for one. Throwing on a clean pair of jeans and a black t-shirt, Duo quickly dropped off his clothes and towel in the room, making note that Heero was still sleeping though not as deeply, and headed for the cafeteria.  
  
Luckily it was a Friday, so most of the students were heading home for the weekend and the wait for the food was minimal. Duo was soon walking out of the cafeteria with two full trays of dinner carefully balanced in his hands. Duo and Heero were known to eat their meals in their room, and no one seemed to mind, or even ask why. Shooting a glance at the walls of the cafeteria, plastered from floor to ceiling with OZ drafting posters advertising a better career and amazing experiences in the cockpit of the latest mobile suit, Duo knew why they never ate in there.   
  
He shuddered at the thought of being surrounded by so many smiling OZ faces, mind flitting back to the soldier he had killed the night before, as he unconsciously chewed on his lower lip, shifting the trays to one side as he opened the door to the room.  
  
TBC  
  
AN: I will be updating frequently, probably every couple of days. Sorry this chapter ends at an odd part, I had to stop writing it to go somewhere. I'll probably continue tomorrow.  
  
Thanks to anyone who reads it, Major thanks to anyone who reviews! 


	4. the centre cannot hold

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Widening Gyre  
  
A Gundam Wing FanFic by shärl-tn  
  
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Part 4  
  
Heero had just swung his legs lazily over the edge of the mattress and was running a hand through sleep-tousled brown hair, debating the merits of food versus cleanliness when the door swung open making the decision for him.  
  
"Dinner!" Duo proclaimed joyfully, closing the door behind him with a foot, grinning from ear to ear.  
  
Heero looked up at him tiredly, an eyebrow raised in mock surprise, offering only a quiet, "Hmph," in greeting.  
  
Duo laughed at the quiet response, full-well catching the subtle movement the eyebrow had provided that showed Heero's slight amusement, "What, did you just get up? Awh.. Poor Heero who can normally manage to sleep through whatever comes his way…" He quickly picked up the random bits of clothing he had left on the ground, throwing them into his closet before carefully lowering the trays onto the floor and having a seat.  
  
Heero slowly slipped off his mattress and on to the carpet risking a glance at today's dinner options. Not too bad, potatoes, chicken and a mystery vegetable, but overall pretty good fare. He grabbed a fork and slowly began to eat, glad for a good meal after a few days eating rations.  
  
Raising the fork to his lips he looked up to watch Duo as he literally devoured his meal, seemingly just as tired of rations as he was, but also, as was natural, more eager to show it openly. Heero took another bite, about a quarter done his plate as Duo finished, pushed the tray aside and leaned back into the side of his own mattress.  
  
It took Heero a few more bites to realize that something was off. He slowed; realizing that he could in fact, hear himself chew. His brow twitched in slight confusion at the new sensation. He'd been sharing dorm rooms with Duo in various schools for the last month, and not once during a meal had he been privy to the sound of his molars demolishing some perfectly innocent morsel of food.  
  
He finished his meal, depositing the fork on the edge of the tray, and sat back, pulling his knees up to his chest to sit. Slowly he brought his eyes over to Duo, and fully took in the fact that for the last ten minutes or so his friend had not made a single sound. Duo, the usually talkative to the point of white noise, cheerful to the extreme, was currently sitting, silent, and staring off into space. Or perhaps more correctly, staring off at his shoes, still un-done and resting in a heap by the door.  
  
Heero, full of curiosity springing back from the night before was debating whether he should ask Duo what was wrong. He was beginning to feel more than a little anxious from Duo's behaviour and was having trouble connecting the various faces of his roommate. He could hardly believe that this thoughtful gazed, silent youth was the same as the maniacally grinning boy who had walked through the door not twenty minutes past. And there was no connection at all between him and the vulnerable, tortured soul from the night before.  
  
"Heero?" The sound of his name broke the silence.  
  
Heero lifted his head from where it had been resting on his arms, "Yes, Duo?"  
  
Duo's eyes narrowed slightly, still looking at the shoes. "Heero, why are my shoes all the way back there?"  
  
"Well…" Heero started slowly, "Well, that's where I left them."  
  
Duo turned quickly to search his face for answers, pursing his lips together in a nervous gesture, "and why, exactly were you taking my shoes places?"  
  
Heero just stared back at him, face expressionless, "I removed them before I put you to bed last night."  
  
"Oh." Duo's gaze dropped and he brushed a loose bang behind his ear. "…When you put me to bed…" he said slowly to himself, considering.  
  
"You were asleep in the middle of the floor, I wasn't just going to leave you there." Heero offered quietly, offering words to still the uncomfortable silence that was settling over the room.   
  
Duo stood, Heero's eyes following his movements as his put his shoes on, "I guess I should thank you then," he offered up a wan example of his normal grin, "I probably wouldn't have enjoyed waking up on the floor."  
  
Heero opened his mouth in slight protest, but no sound came out. He didn't know if he wanted to apologize, berate, demand an explanation or offer sympathy.  
  
Duo had his hand on the doorknob when he turned to face him again, "I'll try my best to make it to my bed in the future." He opened the door, "Later, I'm going for a walk." He offered before shutting the door behind him, leaving Heero alone again.  
  
Heero sighed to himself, decidedly annoyed with his behaviour. "Guess you won't be finding out what was wrong any time soon, then…" He rose, gathering the trays and piling them by the door. It was time for that shower, he'd just have to try to ask Duo later.   
  
TBC 


	5. Mere anarchy is loosed upon the world

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Widening Gyre  
  
A Gundam Wing FanFic by shärl-tn  
  
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AN: Thank you to anyone who reviewed.   
  
And I'd like to apologize for the quality of the last chapter, I was rushing, and I think the ending and overall content suffered because of it. I just changed the last couple paragraphs, so you might want to read them quickly before you read this. I found that Heero was distastefully OOC to the point of annoying me with his behaviour, and Duo was just a little to far on the "bipolar" end of his spectrum for my liking. I'm going to try to write longer, better-formed chapters from here on out… Maybe I'll switch PoVs within chapters instead of alternating to save face…   
  
Anyways, on with the show, Comments are appreciated!  
  
Part 5  
  
Duo closed his eyes, letting the cool evening air wash around his body. He liked the night; he liked the darkness, the beautiful temperature that seemed to awaken his senses, and the abundance of places to hide. He slipped silently away from the school into a small grove of trees on the edge of the property. Tall, stately willows and maples thickened the blackness as he walked deeper into their mist till he reached the riverbank.  
  
He smiled softly; the moon was out, gleaming round and bright in the evening sky above the water. He turned to a nearby willow and jumped to catch the lowest branch, deftly pulling himself upwards to rest on the arm of the tree, legs dangling over the water, kicking slowly at the rippling reflection of the moon.  
  
He sighed, long and drawn and slow, basking in the peace that surrounded him here, hidden in the trees with only the light of the moon to interrupt his thoughts.   
  
He pulled his knees up to his chest, making himself smaller, and brought his head to rest on the tops of his arms. Closing his eyes he forced himself to remember. It was better if he got it over with, here, alone, then have it interfere with his normal life, or a mission.  
  
It had been an easy mission for the self-proclaimed master of stealth. In and out, steal a few new devices from OZ and retreat. No alarms, no bombs, no gundam, just in and out. He had completed all objectives within an hour; he hadn't tripped a single alarm, or even seen another soul till the soldier at the end.  
  
Duo groaned plaintively to the darkness, why was the guard even there? According to the surveillance the shift wasn't due in that position for minutes, plenty of time to make an exit. He could still see the look of shocked surprise on the soldier's young face, probably thinking he was just another comrade and then quickly remembering the descriptions of the famed pilots, "pilot 02, short stature, thin, presumed age 17, trademark braid hanging to mid-thigh or tucked into jacket, rarely seen, expert at stealth." Duo shook his head, the soldier had definitely paled when he'd seen his braid, but by then it was way too late to run.   
  
Duo reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out his knife, still stained from the night before, dried blood sticking to its handle. He stared at it, reflecting the moonlight slightly and remembered the soldier's face. Young, dark eyes, the edges of a thin moustache, he'd probably just started shaving… Duo ran a hand over his own chin, still soft, childlike. Short brown hair beneath the OZ cap that had fallen off his head when he'd hit the ground, hands twisting painfully in the dark grass, mouth open in shock, slowly filling with blood…  
  
With a straggled cry Duo threw the knife into the river with all the force he could muster, anger, frustration and aching sadness coursing through his lithe frame. He brought a hand up to brush away the warm tears now once again falling from his eyes, "Goddammit," he whispered bitterly, "…why me?"  
  
-------  
  
-------  
  
Heero had showered efficiently and changed into clean clothes before venturing outside to find out what had become of Duo. He had reached the decision that if he kept waiting for Duo to explain what had happened the night before, he'd never get an answer.  
  
Heero Yuy was not an extremely patient boy, and having never had to live with anyone who wasn't a power-hungry scientist had left him at a loss when it came to sympathy or empathy of any fashion. He knew something was wrong, he knew he had to do something, and he wasn't going to wait around until something happened before taking action.   
  
Of course, he had no idea where Duo was, and had little or no idea what he was going to do once he found him, but he was completely positive that sitting in the room staring at the walls would accomplish little.   
  
So he found himself walking aimlessly around the grounds of the school, looking for the self-proclaimed "friend" of his that he knew so little about. They had only known each other a short time; it had only been a few months since their first introduction on the deck of a large loading rig when Duo had greeted him so courteously with a shot in the leg. Somewhere between a pissing contest of debts paid, a hospital rescue here, stolen parts there, small wagers on who could complete a demolition mission first, they had ended up sharing a room in a boarding school, spending most of their time together becoming comrades and more recently, friends.  
  
Heero emitted an audible sound, not unlike a chuckle, as he remembered that incident: he had returned from a mission late in the afternoon and was typing up his report on the laptop in his room when Duo burst in the door with two trays of dinner and a smile a mile wide.  
  
"You're back!" He had greeted him, setting the food on the floor, arranging their places carefully on the space between the beds, "I was beginning to wonder if we were still friends."  
  
Heero had stopped typing at the new title, "What was that?"  
  
"I said I was beginning to think you'd left me for brighter prospects," Duo responded quickly with a wink.  
  
"No, that's not what you said," Heero shook his head, "you said we were friends, didn't you?"  
  
Duo had stopped, slowly turning his gaze to meet Heero's, "Yeah, I suppose I did." His eyes narrowed, "we ARE friends, right?"  
  
Heero had considered that for a long moment, having never had any 'friends' per se he didn't know exactly what to base this new criteria on, but finally he answered, "I suppose we are."  
  
And then Duo had done the most amazing thing. He had dropped the fork he was setting down, and in one swift movement rushed over to Heero, hugged him gratefully from behind the chair then pulled back, crossing his arms over his chest, "Good." He stated with a curt nod, ignoring Heero's shock, "Now come have some dinner."  
  
So it was because of some sense of responsibility towards this new title Duo had bestowed upon him that Heero was now expanding his search farther away from the school and into the treed-in areas towards the river, hoping to find some clue as to his friend's whereabouts.  
  
He was steps away from the riverbank, glimpses of the moon beginning to peak from between branches when he heard the pained cry and splash of water. He quickened his pace, turning towards the sound.  
  
At the edge of the river, he stood watching the moon reflect in the waters, waiting for another clue. He did not have to wait long and soon heard a soft sound like muffled coughing followed by a very audible sob, and a pained intake of breath. On the last sound Heero's head jerked upwards into the branches of the tree he was standing beside, squinting to try and see through the dark.  
  
He saw a nearby branch first, and jumped upwards, grabbing at the rough bark, pulling himself upwards towards the sound. His jeans scraped against the branch as he pulled himself onto the top, and the sound before him abruptly silenced, an air of apprehension settling over the space.  
  
A sniff, then a cough as someone cleared their throat and then an emotionally choked voice, "Heero?" Another sniff, "what are you doing here, Heero?"  
  
As Heero's eyes adjusted, he could see the small form of his roommate sitting against the trunk of the tree. He moved slowly towards him, stopping a few feet away on the branch. "Duo…" He whispered, relief sounding clear in his tone, "I was… worried. I came looking for my friend."   
  
TBC  
  
AN: I hope that was a little better quality than part 4. Please Review, I will update in a day or two. 


	6. The ceremony of innocence is drowned

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Widening Gyre  
  
A Gundam Wing FanFic by shärl-tn  
  
-----  
  
Part 6  
  
Duo could only stare at the apparition before him, Heero was crouched on the branch before him, lit only by the reflection of the moon off the water, shifting and rippling with the small waves. He bit his lip trying to keep any more tears from falling. Not now, he chided himself, no tears, Heero will see… no tears…  
  
He coughed in an attempt to bring his mind away from the guilt, from the sight of the soldier's face, "Heero?" he started, barely able to pronounce the name through his tears, watching as Heero turned quickly to stare directly at him, his eyes obviously not yet adjusted to the dark. There was still a chance that he hadn't seen. He sniffed, inwardly berating himself for the telltale plaintive sound. Great, now he knows for sure you've been crying. "What are you doing here, Heero?" He finally managed before retreating into silence again, shoulders shaking as he fought down his tears.  
  
"Duo…" Heero replied, surprising Duo with the relief sounding clear in his tone, "I was… worried. I came looking for my friend."   
  
There was a long moment between them then, Duo slowly wiping at his cheeks and Heero just balancing and waiting for some response. Duo buried his face in his knees, not wanting to be seen, growing quietly more and more annoyed at Heero. He was infuriating, so patient and calm as if he was never affected by this war, Hell, he probably didn't even really care, he was probably just bored and came to find Duo for a diversion. He had said he was worried… But did he even really know what that meant?  
  
Duo speech was muffled as he spoke into his jeans, "Well you found me. You can leave anytime now." He bit off waspishly, hoping his tone would encourage Heero to just leave him alone.  
  
He could feel Heero's gaze heavy on his shoulders, obviously trying to come to a decision, analysing the situation or something like that, probably deciding whether Duo was worth the trouble. Duo could almost feel him weighing his options and he peaked up through his bangs to see Heero when he opened his mouth to speak.  
  
"Okay, I'll go," Heero started slowly, his gaze distant as he looked away from Duo and towards the water, "but only if you're honestly alright."  
  
Shit! Duo almost growled in frustration, he hadn't thought that Heero had caught on to that particular aspect of his personality. Duo Maxwell did not lie. Duo Maxwell hid, as he was trying to do now, Duo Maxwell exaggerated the truth from time to time, Duo Maxwell kept a lot inside, but he never, ever lied. Ever. And here was his friend, asking him to outright confirm that he was okay before he would leave. And Duo Maxwell was unable to respond with a cheerful, I'll be fine, because he knew that that would be an outright lie. And Heero knew it.   
  
"Damn him!" He muttered to himself angrily, temporarily forgetting why he was upset, eyes squinting tight with frustration.  
  
"What was that?" Heero offered, moving a few inches closer, eyebrow raised in question.  
  
Duo lifted his head, "I was calling you a bastard."  
  
"Hn." Heero shrugged, "wouldn't be the first time."  
  
"Was that supposed to be funny?"  
  
"No, it's true, it wouldn't be the first time. They tend to shout that when I cut the propulsion system off their mobile suits."  
  
Duo didn't respond, breaking Heero's gaze and looking down, anger fading quickly as he began to think about the OZ soldier again.  
  
"Well, Duo, are you okay?"  
  
Duo buried his head back into the knees of his jeans, "No, do I look okay?"  
  
Heero squinted into the darkness, taking in his friend's dark form, curled into the smallest possible crouch on the side of the tree, face hidden, braid falling below him, "Duo what's going on?" To say that Heero was concerned at this point would be a slight understatement. Heero was officially worried again, any relief he'd gained from locating Duo quickly disappearing with every minute he spent with this strange version of his roommate. This version would barely answer him, flitting between anger, frustration and heart-wrenching sadness, this version was nothing like the character he knew who had so often filled any silence with words, serious or otherwise, and Heero was finding it increasingly harder to adapt.   
  
"…I've never seen you like this." Heero whispered, trying to bring the old Duo back with words, as Duo had so many times in the past tried to elicit responses from him.   
  
Still no answer.   
  
"Hell, I've never seen anyone like this…" he muttered, half to himself this time, "What happened?"   
  
He slowly reached a hand forward, placing it on Duo's shoulder and was silenced as he felt the sobs that he had not heard racking through his friend's small frame. What had happened didn't really matter anymore; he had to get Duo back first. He placed his free hand on the other side of Duo's shoulders, recoiling inwardly as each shudder transferred its way through his arms. He didn't know what to do; nothing he knew prepared him for finding his closest friend racked by such unexplained emotions.   
  
He shook his head, inwardly preparing himself. He had to do something.  
  
Slowly, carefully, he inched closer to Duo on the branch, carefully pulling his friend in towards him, cradling his small form so that his head rested on his chest. No longer able to hide his state from his friend, Duo's silent shudders quickly progressed to outright sobs as he let the grief wash over him in full.   
  
However, unlike the night previous, where he had been left alone in his pain, this night he cried, encircled in the strong comforting arms of his only true friend. As Heero's hands slowly ran circles across his back, his head resting softly over Duo's own, Duo slowly calmed, comforted in the realization that he was not alone.   
  
He quieted, and lifted a hand to brush at his cheeks, not moving from his position beside Heero, not quite ready to leave the safety of his embrace. With a quavering voice he began to speak quietly, "Last night I killed a man…"  
  
Heero remained silent; listening carefully to Duo's whisper, knowing there would be more.  
  
"I know what you probably think, I kill people," he took a long breath, "… all the time in deathscythe. Well, my mission was a manned stealth run, just steal a few new devices, and sneak out. No one was supposed to get hurt…" He shuddered slightly, fighting back another wave.  
  
"Duo…" Heero offered, concern clear in his voice, "you don't have to…"  
  
"Yeah, I do." He sniffed, preparing, "just listen, kay?"  
  
Heero nodded into Duo's hair, shifting so he could hear.  
  
"I was on my way out, when I was spotted. Before he had gotten three words out I'd already thrown my knife at his throat, he was dead before he hit the ground," Duo's voice was cold, as if delivering a report, "I walked over to check and retrieve my weapon. He had brown hair, dark eyes… He was so young," Duo paused, then continued in a voice once again full of emotion, "…not much older than us, probably fresh out of school. Heero, I saw his face! I'll probably never forget that face – that surprised look, his mouth filling with blood…" Duo choked on his words, no longer able to speak as he remembered.  
  
"Duo." Heero grasped his friends' shoulders firmly and turned him to face him, "Duo, are you listening to me?"  
  
Duo nodded, biting his lip, still trembling slightly.  
  
"I understand, okay?" Heero whispered slowly, watching as a silent tear tracked its way down his friend's cheek, fiercely wanting to explain himself to him, trying to bring Duo's emotion under control. "I… I had a mission once, a long time ago, with faces that I'll never forget."   
  
Duo remained silent, waiting, slight disbelief showing in his eyes. Heero Yuy, the perfect emotionless soldier, baring his soul was a sight to see. Heero struggled to keep his gaze, showing an anxiety Duo had never seen before.  
  
"It was a little girl. Blond hair, wide blue-green eyes… So very very young." He breathed in, letting out a long quavering breath, "I killed her, her family, and so many other innocent people that day."  
  
Duo gasped quietly, sitting on his own as Heero pulled his hands back from his arms to ball them into fists in his lap.  
  
"It was a mistake. I'd over-estimated the explosives needed and I…" Heero's hands shook slightly on his legs, his gaze still remaining locked on Duo's, eyes betraying the depth of emotion he felt at the remembrance with their intensity. "I destroyed an entire housing block along with a mobile suit manufacturing plant."  
  
Duo reached forward hesitantly to cup a hand over one of Heero's quaking fists. "Oh, Heero…"  
  
After a long moment, Heero once again quelled his emotions, closing his eyes, and ran a shaking hand through his messy bangs turning to face Duo once more. "Do you understand?"  
  
Duo's forehead creased in slight confusion at the question, "Heero, I don't know if I…"  
  
"You'll never forget." Heero stated calmly.  
  
Duo pursed his lips together, frowning slightly.  
  
"But you have to move on."  
  
Duo raised an eyebrow slightly, "this coming from the guy I witnessed try to commit suicide three times before I even knew his name?"  
  
Heero sighed, frustrated, "I'm trying to make a point here."  
  
Duo quieted, listening.  
  
"I guess… I guess I'm trying to say that you're not alone."  
  
Duo looked off towards the water, considering, "I understand." He nodded slowly to himself, tasting the words on his tongue, "I'm not alone." Slowly, he began to smile. Not a full-blown grin, but a soft, sad smile as he turned back to Heero.   
  
Heero allowed himself a shy, barely perceptible half-smile. "Roger that."   
  
Duo smiled wider at the show of a smile on Heero's usually emotionless lips and leaned over the side of the branch, landing on the ground without a sound.  
  
Heero followed, landing beside his friend who motioned towards the residence, beginning to walk back to their room.  
  
"Heero, I… Thanks." Duo said quietly as they walked. "And sorry about the suicide remark, kay?"  
  
Heero nodded, but reached a hand forward to stop Duo for a moment, "Not a problem, and Duo?"  
  
Duo tipped his head slightly to show that he was listening.  
  
"I haven't attempted suicide since I started sharing a room with you, by the way."  
  
Duo opened his mouth to argue, but stopped after a moment, realizing that it was true.  
  
Heero smiled again at the reaction and started to walk. "I'm not alone." He stated quietly.  
  
Duo smiled at the remark, laughter once again in his eyes, "Damn straight you aren't." He answered, jogging a few steps to keep up, then throwing an arm around Heero's shoulders as they walked back to the room.  
  
END  
  
AN: I think that feels like an ending, don't it? Thanks for your reviews, if inspiration hits I'll write another fic sometime.   
  
If you need more this instant check out my other fic on my author page, or my livejournal (also linked off my author page)  
  
Please Review, they always make my day, knowing that someone's reading these.  
  
Yours,  
  
shärl-tn 


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